March – April 2026

Learn from your Mistakes

You want to approach life as a skill, to realise that there is always the possibility of doing things skilfully. You may not have perfected it, but you don’t beat yourself for not having the perfect response to every situation. You realise that there’s always the opportunity to learn. You make mistakes, you learn from them. This is a normal part of life, and a wise way of living is to learn from your mistakes and resolve not to repeat them. Learn from what you’ve done. Notice when you do things correctly, notice when you make mistakes, and take that information to adjust your patterns of behaviour.

Some people come to the practice and say, ‘Well, this is the kind of person I am. I’ve just got to be this way.’ That attitude closes the door on the practice entirely. You start from where you are, but you have to be willing to change. If people couldn’t change, if they had to stay the way they are, the Buddha’s teaching would be in vain. There would be no reason to have the teachings because they’re all about transformation. They’re all about learning, developing, changing the way you approach life. From the Buddhist point of view, ‘accepting yourself’ means not only admitting where you are, but also accepting that you have the potential to change. As your approach becomes more and more skilful, you’re doing less and less harm to yourself, less harm to others, less harm to both. You find that you live in a way that brings more benefits for yourself, more benefits for others, more benefits for both. It may take more energy, more attention, but it’s a much more worthwhile way of living.
—Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu ‘Skills to Take with You’ (Meditation 1)

THE GIFT NO ONE TAKES

(Famous parable attributed to the Buddha regarding anger and insults)

One day, the Buddha was walking through a village with His monks. There was a man in that village who disliked the Buddha. He felt irritated just hearing people praise the Buddha’s wisdom and compassion.

He thought: “This monk is nothing special. I will insult him and show everyone he is not as great as they say.” So he waited by the roadside. When the Buddha passed by, the man stepped forward and started shouting at Him: “You’re a fraud! You only want people to worship you! You’re not better than anyone else!”

He poured out all his anger and hatred in front of everyone. The strange thing was: the Buddha remained calm. His face was peaceful. He did not argue, did not defend Himself, did not show any anger at all.
The man became more frustrated and finally said: “Do you not hear me? Are you too scared to answer? Say something!”

The Buddha looked at him gently and asked: “My friend, may I ask you a question? If someone brings you a gift, and you choose not to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?”

The man was confused for a moment, then replied: “Well… it stays with the one who tried to give it, of course.”

The Buddha said softly: “In the same way, today you have brought me a ‘gift’ of anger and insults. But I do not accept them. So they remain with you.”

The man stood there in silence. For the first time, he saw clearly: he had been carrying so much inner “garbage” – anger, bitterness, frustration – and he was trying to throw it onto someone who had never harmed him. He felt ashamed and humbled. He bowed slightly and said: “Teacher… please forgive my anger and ignorance.”

The Buddha replied: “There is nothing for me to forgive, because I did not take your anger into my heart.

”LESSONS
– We cannot always control what others say or do to us.
– But we can choose what we receive and keep in our heart
– Not every “gift” needs to be accepted – especially gifts of anger, disrespect, or negativity.
– Sometimes, walking away in peace is not weakness. It is wisdom.